Below are brief examples of what I do when I copyedit, pulled straight from work I’ve done. Names have been changed to protect the ambiguous.
wordy: The law firm specialized in the creation of contracts of a long-term nature.
concise: The law firm specialized in creating long-term contracts.
wordy, misspelled: Conrad agreed to sing with the team for a lesser amount of money.
concise, correct: Conrad agreed to sign with the team for less money.
wordy, misspelled, poorly punctuated: It was the fear of President Bush, that an ocupation of Baghdad, would not be supported by allies of the U.S.
concise, correct: President Bush feared U.S. allies would not support an occupation of Baghdad.
especially wordy: It is the recommendation of the committee that the Flerktech Corporation utilize the established best practices enclosed herein in order to leverage key stakeholders for the purpose of maximum possible retention of existing customer base.
concise: To retain the most customers possible, the team recommends Flerktech Corp. use the enclosed best practices.
The Grammar Geek